Three hundred

With rough winter weather on its way I spent a good chunk of yesterday epilating, soaking in the tub, exfoliating, shaving, using Frank scrub, and then body oil, etc (the regimine just keeps growing). I wanted every inch of my skin happily hydrated and silky smooth. After all of this effort I kept touching my legs in admiration of my work and told The Boy to feel how smooth they are. He willingly obliged, then responded, "They feel just as smooth as they always do." #boysknownothing

Two hundred ninety nine

Wow it's been a long time since I posted on here. 

Today's thought is one of honesty. 

I've come incredibly far since the years of battling an eating disorder, but sometimes when I'm overwhelmed my head still answers my anxiety by telling me to just not eat. It's frustrating. It feels like a slap in the face after all the hard work I've put in. Most days/weeks/MONTHS pass without even a fleeting thought of anything eating disorder related, but then there are the rogue days when those pervasive thoughts hit me from out of the blue. I know it's not the answer but it's frustrating to know that despite knowing it won't fix anything, it WILL temporarily make me feel a bit better. 

More than anything, these moments are humbling to me. It's humbling to be reminded that although I am so far from where I was at the beginning of this journey,  I'm am never too far to remember the true desperation of those still struggling. I'm never so "over" my eating disorder that I can forget the true compassion that is merited by those in the depths of fighting their personal demons, and I am never so "recovered" that I can forget to be patient with myself in those moments when a haunting of my past decides to visit my mind on a random afternoon. 

Two hundred ninety eight

I just hit "submit" on my application for PA school. I stopped procrastinating and just hit the damn button. Finally. Part of me feels excited. Part of me feels nervous. The majority of me just feels 1000 US dollars poorer. #omg #prayforme

Two hundred ninety seven

Can't wait to get back to this. Bring on fall.

Two hundred ninety six

People often hang things from their car's rearview mirror. Today I passed a Sheriff van that hand cuffs swinging from it. That is all.

Two hundred ninety five

Things I love this summer:
Living with my bestie
Getting out of work earlier than anticipated
Tanning
Playing on diving boards at Scera pool
Early morning fishing
Cute boys
Lots and lots of cute boys.

Two hundred ninety four

I can't remember the last time I was awake at 6am. As I drive home from a night on call I'm watching the sky get lighter (opposed to darker for once), and find myself feeling overwhelmingly grateful. Grateful for an ever supportive family. Grateful to have such incredible friends. Grateful to work with people who have become friends instead of simply being coworkers. Grateful for the opportunity I've been given to get an education, to find a passion, and to be able to pursue it as a career. I'm indescribably grateful for N. I'm grateful for such an outstandingly superb little dog. I'm grateful to know that I'll take a nap for a few hours and then have yet another day with which to marvel at all of the wonders I've been blessed with in my life.
Xoxo, A.