one hundred seventeen

i need to stop reading the news. its too depressing! i just read a story about a woman named benita jacks that killed her 4 girls, ages 16-5 and just had them rotting in her house. how awful must it have been for those little girls to suddenly come to the realization that their mother, the person they most likely trusted more than anyone in the world, was trying to kill them? it seriously makes me physically sick to think of how horrible of a place this world is becoming. i understand the whole "we're on earth to be tested" thing, but really, i want to know WHY as the temporal, unperfect, vulnerable to horrific slaying kind of beings we are, are we put in such a horrible place and basically told "good luck" as we weather the storms of life? i guess i don't understand why God would put us somewhere in which the majority of our lives are spent in sadness and despair... im not trying to be pessimistic, but what am i missing???

one hundred sixteen

so there's this person i used to know
who would consistently tell me to
"get off the damn fence."
as much as i know she's right,
i really just have the urge to kick her
for so frequently resonating in my head!
fortunately for the both of us,
i don't see her face anymore.

[its.just.one.of.those.days]

one hundred fifteen

depth. real.
to roll off the tongue.
genuinely artistic.
surprise me. amaze me.
it gives me the chills.
britney says gimme more, gimme more.
take my breath away.
gingerly nailing me
like a ton of bricks
scarred through acts of passion.
intimately public through strangers unknown
a looking glass into the soul.
a flittering glimpse of humanity.
redistributing pigment takes shape once more.
whirling settles.
solidified now.
end of chapter.
punctuate.

one hundred fourteen

today at noodles and company.
i could barely hold the camera still as i silently shook with laughter!
oh jax- what a crazy boy!
good times! :)

one hundred thirteen

a holiday recap...
we decided that the kids should go skating together every winter and this year we went the saturday before christmas. i was all for it, but then was a baby after like a half hour because i got cold and went shopping for an hour or two before returning to just pick them up from the skating rink. but before i ditched i managed to take some pics. it was logan and jenna's first time on skates!

niko was so awesome as he helped jenna to go around, she was a little nervous at first, but got pretty good after a while!

lots of time was spent deserately clutching the side wall, but i guess you gotta do what you're comfortable with, ya know?!

logan fell lots due to his premature ability attempting some daredevil tricks, but totally embraced the falls. he thought it was fun!

it was obviously a very white christmas this year, just like i used to dream about when i was living in hawaii. i enjoyed it since i got to stay nice and warm indoors most of the time. its so beautiful!

the presents were insane this year, with rockband being everyone's fav. they even got me to play it, and i'll admit it, i'm hooked! honestly, as much as i'm enjoying my presents, cash, and gift cards, my favorite has been being able to play board games and things that everyone can do together. its so fun now that the younger kids are getting old enough to understand game concepts and play along!

so that was kinda it, but i had a blast. sorry i took so long to post this, and i have a few other things to catch up on, but better late than never, right?! peace out!

one hundred twelve

brace yourself for today's quote of the day:
"although i do not neccessarily recommend it, it is entirely up to you whether or not you choose to binge and purge your way through this course."

yup, go ahead and read it again.
that's what my chemistry professor told us today in regard to how we choose to prepare for our midterm exams and finals. of course he meant it as trying to cram in a bunch of textbook info last minute, and then just recite it on our exams, but this was his arrogant stab of humor in a sea of undergrads. the ill fitting jest was overlooked by most people, myself included, until he continued to elaborate on how binging and purging was such a fitting analogy to many student's study habits. in my opinion it was just ignorant and bad taste.

but in better news, the first day of school went well and i even went to the dentist by myself today- ativan free i may add! :) i know i'm taking a lot of credits, but i'm so anxious to get them all done! hopefully it won't prove to be too much... time will tell i guess!

just for fun, here's a list of my rants and raves- part 2:

[i am fond of]
tweezing.banbury cross.silky soft skin.blowing bubbles.the smell of clean laundry.ice cream.science.new running shoes.worn out pointe shoes.holiday inspired nail polish hues.snail mail.creative handwriting.fresh squeezed orange juice.sourdough bread.blogging.journalling (in ANY creative way that is condusive to you actually documenting the events of your life).watching snow fall while being warm inside.crunching fallen leaves.puppy kisses.flossing.costco.mikhail baryshnikov.natalia osipova.pink highlighters.textbook reinbursment.cheesecake with cherry preserves.asparagus and swiss cheese quiche.hanky pankys.lint rollers.iTunes music backups.comcast OnDemand.the repeat function of a cd/mp3 player."nike+plus" running shoes

[i am not fond of]
earthworms.chipped nail polish.dumb boys.most boys!.term papers.math.homework on weekends.sushi.boyfriend's ex's.old school chalk boards.addiction.bad phone reception.numbers-any and all(ED, math, OCD, all of them!).petting zoos.uncomfortable heels.car exhaust.how fat congeals on ice.banana cream pie.social anxiety.blowing hand dryers.reheated pasta.snowy roads.bad drivers.screen printed earrings.lima beans.steroid and hormone laden food.when my dog tries to run away, not really, but she wouldn't come back when i called her.the smell of seran wrap.how your absolute favorite cds are the only ones that get scratched to the point of non-use.finally admitting that i should have stayed in DBT just a teeny bit longer.

one hundred eleven

okay, so i've been a bit of a s.l.a.c.k.e.r.
but will someone please tell me how i can send my laptop out to get "debugged" and it comes out slower than before it went in?? it seriously bugs, no seriously!

so...
christmas...
good for the most part.
worked lots.
avoided lots.
ignored LOTS.

new years...
fun.
lots of what-ifs.
i almost peed my pants.

so now...
spring semester starts at 7:25 tomorrow morning.
as much as i'm stoked to get through it,
i am, as usual, terrified.
why?
i know that just like every other semester,
i'll try my best and that will have to suffice.
it's not really the classes that scare me.
it's the people.
new professors, new students, but the same old insecurities.
why can't school be like driving a car...
you kind of just get used to it after a while.

so i'm going to just sit here and avoid a little bit more...
i did a cute wall collage of photos of everyone i love,
its pretty fabulous.
i'm listening to sara evan's greatest hits cd
and can't get enough of "always be my baby."
its a winner!
niko and i won a kick-a game of cranium turbo.
playing reminded me of mark.
i heard he got married.
good for him.

i should have gone shopping this weekend because i don't have a clue of what i am going to wear tomorrow! i'm staring at multiple closets and am completely confused at how i don't have a single thing to wear. what's going on?! i'm excited to use the oversized juicy bag i bought for school this semester though. special thanks to oakley for chewing through the zipper on my last backpack, therefore giving me the initative to buy a new one! haha okay well i'm out for now. i hope every one had a marvelous christmas/chanakah/new years/kwanza/whatever you felt like celebrating!