two hundred seventy

Things have kinda hit the fan lately...
I'd blog about it all but I'm kind of still in processing mode...

I've made some choices that have resulted in some big changes in my life, which unfortunately demand some major decisions on my part...
Remember how I hate having to make decisions?! Yeah, me too.

Despite the frequency of feeling inadaquate and overwhelmed, I can eagerly recognize that I've been blessed with some pretty stellar people in my life. Understanding friends that fill me with hope, a family that adores me despite my plights of insanity, a kick-A treatment team that I pray will outsmart my eating disorder just one day at a time.

This past week was National Love Your Body Week and I went to some rad activities that really made me think about recovery.

I met up with a friend for some starbies action a few weeks ago and as we chatted we came to the topic of recovery. She's had her share of ups and downs and we usually keep it pretty superficial but as we sat there talking about past (and present) struggles, I asked her if she thought she was really done with her ED. Like for reals, for life, forever. She paused for a second and her eyes welled up and she looked at me and simply said "Yeah. I think I really am." Although she later apologized for tearing up over what she thought was such a seemingly trivial combination of words, I can't describe the impact it had on me to sit there and see such an accomplished, amazing woman say those words with such certainty. It is a moment that I hope I will never forget. But just in case it starts to fade with time (as even the most precious of memories tend to do) I'm blogging about it to remind myself that recovery is real; that it is possible. To remind myself when I forget, that recovery really is more than the ever ellusive ideal of a facade that I all too often accept it to be.