Sunday, March 30, 2008

one hundred forty seven

[the latest]
so it's been a good 57 hours since that painful shot in the butt and i have steadily declined. i keep feeling like i have something stuck in the back of my throat that i need to cough and clear but then i realize it's just my right tonsil, which is now the size of an egg shaped ping pong ball and now almost entirely covered in white spots. i'm tempted to cut it off and be done with it. no, just kidding. that would be way nast. so on my 3rd day of bed rest, unable to drink or eat, and resorting to spitting in my bathroom sink so that i don't have to swallow (as you can tell, things are feeling a bit grim), my madre called my doc and was told that i need a different antibiotic because i must have a strain that is veracillin resistant. lame. so now i'm back on the ten day, twice daily stint and am thoroughly upset that i took that shot in the bum for nothing! my dad cracks me up though because he always has a chinese remedy for ailments in life. he was in here today trying to convince me that if i just sucked on this salty chinese seed (which is really a dried up prune or something soaked in herbs and some weird salt solution) that it would cure me and that i wouldn't need anything else to start feeling better. what a nut case. sometimes i forget that he's a first generation child born to immigrant parents. nice people, those chinese, but a little superstitious at times! anyway, my fever went down and i found that if my madre makes me scalding hot tea or freezing cold rice milk i can tolerate a sip or two at a time. thank goodness because i was feeling pretty dehydrated. so friends, there's the update. thanks for the calls/texts/emails. i obviously can't talk so don't be offended that i didn't answer the phone. loves to you all!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

one hundred forty six

[it makes me squirm]

it takes warm water, soap, and 15 -20 seconds of good scrubbing to rid hands of cold and flu (and strep) germs. did you know that its the act of scrubbing, alongside running water and even straight up bar soap, that truly makes the difference in getting your hands clean, not the antibacterial formulas we are now so bent on using? here's a yucky statistic: while 95% of people say they wash their hands after using a public restroom, only 67% actually do -- yikes! of that group, just 33% use soap, and only 16% wash their hands long enough to make it count.

that said, happy scrubbing!

one hundred forty five

[an update]
this weekend's been a bit rough. my throat felt a little irratated thursday and by yesterday i could barely sleep or swallow. i took a little gander in a mirror and low and behold, enflamed tonsils and white spots. typical for that horrid little bacteria called streptococcus. so i got right in to the dr and sure enough it's strep. lame. instead of the bi-daily for 10 days oral penicillin antibiotic which i was bound to forget to take, i opted for the one time shot of veracillin. as the nurse came in i asked if she had an arm preference for administering the shot. thats when she told me it was going in my bum! she said the concentrate was super thick and i wouldn't be able to move my arm if she shot it in there and the increased muscle in the good ol gluteus is the ideal place to get the medication working through my body. of course she asks me what happened when she saw the giant bruise across my entire right butt cheek and i had to once again admit my clumsiness in falling down the stairs. so my weekend has been spent in bed with a fever and unable to swallow. its now been 24 hours since that painful shot and i'm unfortunately not feeling any better. the only difference is that i now have an extra stiff right buttocks, regardless of the amount of massaging i've been doing in hopes that medication doesn't just settle there. in the mean time, i've watched mr. magorium's wonder emporium, and the entire 5th season of the simple life and i loves it. it is totally a guilty pleasure of mine and i even have sherla on board with their hilarious antics! i was also doing a little blog surfing and found a true color test so i took it. it was...interesting. it make sense i guess. what do you think? take it and let me know your results!

Take this test!
Your color is black. The color of night. Serene and mysterious, black conjures up images of elegant evening gowns, dashing tuxedos, and gleaming limousines. Traditionally a symbol of success, black also represents power and an uncompromising demand for perfection. Not surprisingly, you tend to set challenging goals for yourself and do whatever it takes to achieve them — your strength of character is second to none. This unfaltering determination, along with your natural elegance, impresses people. But keep in mind that your personality might be intimidating to some. Try to temper your demanding side with a little softness — trust us, it won't kill you. Overall, though, black is the color of professionalism and achievement, which means it's clearly the color for you.

okay i'm out. i hope you are all having a fabulous weekend and if you aren't then do something about it! hopefully i'll be better by monday, especially because i've been summoned for jury duty. yuck! do people really have to go to that? i should just send sherla in my place.

ciao bella!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

one hundred forty four

it's been said-
that i'm apparently intimidating.
this blows me away.
i consider myself to be far more intimidated than intimidating.
a few people have theories.
it's been said-
that i appear to be so put together in order to mask my insecurities.
no shocker, but isn't that normal?
its been said-
that boys are scared to talk to me.
that it's because of my choice in car and clothes.
what does that have to do with anything?!
truth is, i'm terrified of them.
don't castigate me.
just allow me to blend in with the crowd.
the end goal is my heart intact.
apparently my way of laying low really just makes me come off as grandiloquent,
which is definitely not my intention.
magniloquent at times? yes.
but grandiloquent? no.
its also been said-
that as much as i try,
im not the kind of a person who has the option of disappearing in a crowd.
well why not?!
that notion scares me to death.
so let me get this straight...
i'm not able to disappear,
and my only seeming option is being regarded (though extremely incorrectly) as a pretentious bitch?
i just don't think that sounds very fair.
no wonder i'm scared to make new friends-
i'm told right off the bat that no one would want to approach me!
this is very unsettling to me
because i know i'm not really like that at all.
so, tell me...
how the heck do i change this false and wretched persona?
i want a new one because this one is

Saturday, March 15, 2008

one hundred forty three

this is one of my favorite videos, but i was a little hesitant to post it. i can't seem to pinpoint why. therefore, here are my thoughts: am i all about recovery? you bet. but i am also about being a bit edgy and realistic in realizing that it's not all rainbows and butterflies all the time. there is a lot of reality that we skew and a lot that we don't have the option of ignorantly avoiding. so my view is to recognize it's influence and learn to rise above it. i think this video walks the line perfectly in capturing both sides of the widespread dilemma of addiction and entrapement in superficiality in today's world. i recognize that sometimes we can't help who we are, but we CAN help what we do. so here's the deal, i'm going to post it in hopes that it may be a positive thing, but if for any reason any one gets triggered, PLEASE just turn it off (no, you don't need to watch it till the very end just to make sure it was or wasn't as triggering as you intially thought it would be) and then let me know your feedback. i will happily take it down. peace out darlings...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

one hundred forty two

sometimes i get a little obsessed...

i've found when i like something, i usually love it until i get burnt out.
case in point:
when i was little i ate an entire jar of pickles in one sitting so i wouldn't have to share them.
i haven't eaten a pickle since.
for a while i had coke slurpee every day for months.
then i really got into root beer floats.
then jason got me on an apple pie ala mode kick.
we can't forget about the year long red robin fiesta.
a few weeks ago i wanted nothing more than this amazing spinach/artichoke/parmesan dip from costco (of course), pretty much for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks in between.
and now, its peanut butter m&m's.
i'm officially terrified of the intensity of cravings that may come with pregnancy.
good thing i'm not preggers, huh?!

[let's just pretend this cycle of obsessions and compulsive thought have nothing to do with the term OCD, okay?]

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

one hundred forty one

remember how i hate cats?
well i accidentally ran one over last weekend...
first of all, it was 4 in the morning (isn't that past its bedtime and therefore it shouldn't have been out?), i was driving with my brights on because i know there are always lots of deer up where i was driving through, and it instantaneously darted in front of my car (if cats are really as smart as cat lovers claim them to be, why in the world would it see a pair of speeding head lights and chose to cross its path just at that moment?). i felt so bad and wanted to rush it to the animal hospital but it was kind of dead. the good news (i'm being an optimist here) is that it didn't suffer because my dandy of a car kindly broke it's neck instead of letting it be mangled and bloody across the asphalt. i was totally in shock but then i got home and saw roxy and thought about if someone had hit her and suddenly found myself in hysterics. as much as i wish it were a ferrell stray, it's claws were clipped and it was clean and well fed and it breaks my heart to think that i killed someone's beloved pet. if it had a collar on i would have taken it home and offered the measly suggestion of buying them a new one, but it didn't. aren't cats supposed to have 9 lives or something? technically my front and rear wheels both hit it so that would use up two lives, but what about the other seven?! what a slacker! so i am counting my blessings that i didn't strike something more substantial (like a moose), and would like to send my deepest regrets into the universe for whatever family chose to get a cat, not put a collar on it, and allow it to run right in front of my car.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

one hundred forty

[the latest]

-so i volunteer for a hospice and those people are freaking hilarious! one man was telling me about how he invented the bar code system and calculated missle acuracy for the military during the cold war, i'm not sure if he was telling the truth, but am secretly hoping he was! how cool would that be?! another lady responded to my question of "how are you doing today?" with the statement "oh you know, just fat and sassy!" and then there's the lady that said "thanks for visiting, Yolana. i'll be sure to remember your name the next time you come by." thanks junebug, but i'm not counting on it. another woman told me 5 times in 5 minutes that my earrings were hot and then after getting up to open her blinds i sat back down in the chair next to bed and she looks at me and says "girl, you look good!" what?! haha its definitely an experience when there are 90 year olds bursting into opera singing and old men accusing you of only being there to sell them something. good times at caresource, tell you what. i used to laugh at the careless remarks techs would make at cfc (gag me with a spoon/turning on the carpenters on the overhead!), but then i was wearing my hair back under a hat on the day my name badge was made and what comes out of my mouth upon seeing my picture? "this picture sucks, i look like a cancer patient." whoops!

-i have been laptop-less for the past week due to it's crash after being infected with a trojan. silly me always thought trojan's prevented infection and virus, not caused them! regardless, it's putting a major damper in my routine, especially since it's midterms. but on the up side, i got a lot more studying done this weekend since i wasn't checking my mail every nano second! anyway, i miss it terribly and hope i get it back soon.

-oh this is huge, yesterday was my last session with nicole, can you believe it?! it feels really weird. it feels like a lot of things. coming up on 3 years doing therapy together and i'm not gonna lie, im a tiny bit sad! it was really cool to think about how far i've come since that dreadful year of 2005. it was strange to hear her tell me that she hadn't really done therapy with me for a while because i really didn't need it, but that she was just a touching stone for me to confident that i had a secure base as i pushed myself being back in school and such. she said that even if i needed therapy at this point, that i wouldn't listen to her because i've overcome the need to have her approval. that was pretty much the coolest part. there was so long that i loved being her patient for the sheer fact that everyone wished they were and so that made me feel special. but it got to a point that i just didn't care anymore and there was a time that i worried i would never get there. it's been a crazy journey that i'm glad to have gone through. i had no idea i could have learned so much, and yet i can only imagine what else is in store for the future. needless to say, im stoked.

-i'm still going crazy with escuela, but am totally holding it together, and even making friends! like normal, non ed friends! crazy! i think i'd been so tied into the identity that i was scared of normal normal people not wanting to be friends with me, but guess what, we're ALL crazy in our own way and i'm freaking awesome- who wouldn't want to be friends with me?! wow that sounds conceited. all i'm saying is that everyone brings baggage of some sort and that's kind of what normal is all about! hooray for the crazys! :)

-i'm applying to nursing school in cali because regardless of the utah connection, sunshine and beaches run in my veins and i need to be in a fashion mecca like socal. i heart fashion island and corona del mar. i'm pretty excited for a change in scenery, even though it won't be for at least another 6 months or so...

-rascal flatts were back in town and the show was a blast! jen, caitlin, anna, ali, and morgan came with me and it was fabulo! i can't believe anna moved back from nashville and all of its glorious country music-ness. we will have to go there on vacay one summer and she can show me her favorite clubs.

-the countdown is on for my 21st bday and i'm in the process of making a list of 21 crazy things i wouldn't usually do, that i WILL do throughout the year in celebration of this major milestone. any suggestions? i'm game!

-jaxon turned 2 this weekend and alisa had a spiderman party. we sang to him like 50 times because he kept saying "again! ready?!" and conducting us as he sang and clapped along to himself! it was hilarious and we probably went through an entire package of candles by having to continuously relight them. by the end of it all logan said, " what are you jax, 21 by now?!" what a cool kid!

-i am on a life cap trend. is it okay to say that on here? whatevs, its my blog. read or don't read, but i feel good about it! they should be going public soon. way coolio.

-lastly, i sincerely hope to find myself soaking up some socal sunshine this time next week. cross your fingers because i'm needing a tan fix like a needle needs a vein- or maybe something a little less chronically addicting (but just as pleasure inducing)! i know thou shalt not worship false idols, but in this case, welcome to sun worshipping 101!

there's the update on me being all MIA...
life is good and i love you all!

[ciao bella.]

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

one hundred thirty nine

i'm having a hard time staying motivated to study right now and so i pulled out one of my favorite madtv clips as a little motivator between chapters. i'm sure everyone's seen it, but just in case, enjoy! :)

Sunday, March 2, 2008

one hundred thirty eight

i am shocked that someone took the time to come up with the concept of this video and then found the time and determination to actually do it. what are these people doing with their lives?! but in the same breath, i am thoroughly impressed- that is some serious myelination at work in order to keep up with the lyrics, especially toward the middle of the song when it speeds up!