two hundred eighty four

Things that have made me happy in the past week:

*boating
*vespa rides with patrick
*heating pads
*modern day medicine
*convos with my little brother that go something like this:

(While attempting to massage the muscle spasms in my neck and back)
A: Ouch! That's my bone!
L: Oh sorry! I thought it was the nugget!
A: The nugget?! Do you mean the knot?
L: Oh yeah, the knot...

(A few moments later)

A: Ouch!
L: Sorry, I keep telling myself to stay between your spine and razor blade but I keep getting distracted!
A: My razor blade?! You mean my shoulder blade?
L: Oh yeah...
A: That's okay Logan, I think I'm good on the massage...

He's adorable.

And life is good.

two hundred eighty three

apparently my blog called and it misses me...

i'm attempting to recommit to blogging because i used to love it. and lots has happened between my last post and now.

and on this episode of

"alana goes back to treatment..."

i took a little break from life itself. it was much needed. during that time i have discovered that:

-people like you more when you're not striving for perfection

-my apartment is next to the party pool

-change is hard

-people don't judge as much as i think they do

-the right thing is often the simple thing, but that certainly doesn't make it the easy thing

-i don't believe in AA's philosophy

-i do believe in the 12 steps

-it's okay to spend a seemingly ridiculous time staring at a cupboard full of food while sitting on my kitchen floor as long as i choose to eat something in the end

-i respond to tough love because it means someone cares enough about me to merit the energy of getting mad

-i'm hooked on grey's anatomy

-megavideo only allows 72 minutes of video watching at a time

-i love green apples and creamy peanut butter

-as tough as wanting something is, the people who suffer most are the ones who don't know what they want.

i called it like it was. and it sucked. but i'm better for it. so if you think i'm broken, then fix me. cuz i'm no quitter.

and i think we can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.