seventy nine

boys make me crazy.
i just want to put that out there!
like when a guy goes out of town and doesn't call you to say he's back.
or when he finally calls to say he's going out with his ex-girlfriend on halloween and hopes you have a fun night.
lame!
how about all the cute boys in your classes that you won't even make eye contact with?
and the fact that even if you wanted to make friends with them, they are usually already busy chatting with some other cute girl.
it's been observed that i don't easily let people into my "inner circle."
of course i have yet to meet a boy worthy of inclusion.
i love how i act like its a privilege for them to know what's truly going on with me,
when its really just that i'm afraid they will knock down my walls, leaving me vulnerable to the world.
is it really so bad to keep everything inside if you have the tools to process with?
is there really a benefit to letting people in?
emotional isolation may keep me cut off from truly intimate relationships,
but it also keeps me safe.

[chalk it up to insecurity]