two hundred sixty

Dear professor whom I am too classy to specifically name,
Just because your exams take me 15 minutes to complete opposed to the alotted 2 hours you expect from your other mediocre students does NOT mean that I do not take my education seriously. If you give us 2 hours and I allow myself a full 30 minutes, don't attempt to make me feel like a careless person. I fully utlized my time this morning to straighten my hair and match my eyeshadow to my coat and lipgloss and there's nothing wrong with that. I feel no regret over not kissing your ass the way you expect everyone else to just because you have the letters p, h, and d after your name. They mean nothing to me. I finished my test with a complete 15 minutes to spare so don't harass me mmmkay? I don't harass you about your lack of teaching ability, your insufficient breadth of knowledge for the course, or even about your permapressed stain resistant treated khakis from kohl's. And finally, when you make me go upstairs to the office because you're assuming it will take me 2 hours and you don't have the patience to sit and attempt to collect your ever-so-fragmented thoughts, do not assume the hollow plywood encased door I sit behind is soundproof as you bad mouth me to the secretary you have handed me off to. Proctor your own test. Understand that we aren't all as dense as you are. And learn how to keep your voice down as you gossip about the student you have in the next room.

Sincerely,
Me