Saturday, April 17, 2010

two hundred eighty

holla.

soooo, i kinda had a little freak out this morning. i wish they didn't happen as frequently as they do. i've cleaned, distracted, slept, studied, zoned out, contemplated the notion of leaving my house to enjoy what looks like a beautiful warm spring day, journalled, and have ultimately found myself still in bed, and frustrated at not being able to figure out why i get so anxious about apparently nothing at all.

i was supposed to go rock climbing this weekend. i went climbing down in st. george last weekend and had a blast. i was looking forward to this trip all week long, it seriously got me through my week. we were supposed to leave yesterday morning and i freaked out and bailed. i love climbing. i love road trips. i love st. george. i love the group that was going down. so what was my deal?!

i just kept thinking about all of the homework i need to get done before finals come up. and i stayed home in order to relieve the stress of needing to get it all done (in theory). in reality, i've done like 3 things out of the 2 dozen that i need to do this weekend, and keep getting in bed in hopes of falling asleep and not stressing about it. unfortunately i've maxxed out on my sleep quota and am blogging instead. destructive? no. but not quite productive either...

okay i'm going to study for reals now and perhaps even leave my house at some point today...
here's to no more panic attacks! :)

ciao.

2 comments:

Amelia Poll said...

This is the exact same thing I experienced in 2004. I was supposed to go camping, was psyched about it all week, then backed out the morning of.

I hope that you get some things checked off your list - and don't stress too much about not being completely productive...you were already planning on being unproductive (on the school front) this weekend anyway :)

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