two hundred nine

I've been thinking about how a great percent of us live our lives according to and dictated by our fear of how our choices may or may not affect the course of our life. I think the majority of us will meet our destiny while on a road travelled in hopes of avoiding it. So many say they dream of living fearlessly, but I think the term "fearless" entails so, soo much.

Here's what I think of being fearless- to me, fearless is not the absence of fear. Its not being completely unafraid. To me, fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots and lots of them. To me, fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. Fearless is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. Fearless is walking into your first day of high school. Fearless is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again...even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. Its fearless to have faith that someday things will change. Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think its fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they'll never stop doing, I think its fearless to stop believing them. Its fearless to say "you're NOT sorry" and walk away. I think loving someone despite what other people think is fearless. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is fearless. Letting go is fearless. Then, moving on and being alright...that's fearless too. But no matter what life throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. Because at the end of it all, it all comes down to love. Loving someone else, and most importantly, fearlessly loving yourself. Am I fearless yet? No. But I'm fearlessly on my way to becoming so.

xoxo
Lana