one hundred ninety one

advice from others is about as diverse as my own feelings on the situation.
they say to take a risk.
they say to fight for the things i want in life.
they say to take a stand.
they say to let it go.
but it gets to a point when things go on for too long and enough is enough.
i come to my senses and realize that i deserve better.
mid kiss last night the thought pops into my head,
that he will never be one to tell me what he wants,
to push for what's important to him,
to just be a man.
he's too selfish for those thoughts.
and that's okay.
it's pretty much the biggest turn off of my life.
i come to the abrupt conclusion that that boy will do whatever i say,
and that takes all the fun out of it.
the passion was gone and the moment was d r a g g i n g,
so i stop kissing him and walk away.
it feels final.
and it feels good.
because i've been there and done that,
and feel no sense of loss
when thinking of how that was the last time my lips will ever linger on his.