one hundred seventy seven

i have learned a priceless lesson-
thou shall not eat room mate's left over mystery pizza.
here's how the last 36 hours played out:
jen's out of town and i was grabbing a hoodie.
i see half a pizza in the fridge and grab a slice.
you see, i like cold pizza better than hot pizza.
well, i don't have a clue what was wrong with it,
but within a half hour i started feeling pretty nauseous.
bad news!
i still had another 4 hours of class and had to walk out twice!
it only got worse after i got home.
you know how people are convinced that you feel better after throwing up?
this was not the case my friends.
and it sucked.
i can tell you the last time i threw up.
september 4, 2005.
and i hated it!
so it's been over a day and i'm still feeling a bit green.
no fun at all.
especially since i was so excited to move into my house this weekend!
i have ventured around my bedroom a little to do some light packing,
but i assure you this-
no pizza for awhile.
and no leftovers-
ever.

one hundred seventy six

[for future reference]
if you are ever so desiring a few days of 100% miserable weather,
just have me wash my car!
for reals,
my car has been washed once, maybe twice, all winter
(the padre just couldn't stand the filth a moment longer and took it to get washed himself).
this is an intentional lack of exterior car cleansing because without fail,
the day after i wash it...
it rains.
not just drizzles, but a total downpour inevitably ensues.
bummer.
so maybe if i don't wash it anymore we can get the sunshine back?
worth a try, huh?

one hundred seventy five

who would have thought sum 41 could inspire me so?

i know it needs to be done.
that it's the right thing to do.
my heart breaks with every syllable,
yet i apparently have nothing to lose.
through it all i've made my mistakes,
i stumble, i fall,
but i mean these words.
and i want you to know
that with everything,
i won't let this go-
cuz these words are my heart and soul.
i'll hold onto this moment, you know.
i'm bleeding here,
my heart and my soul.
please let me just let go.

one hundred seventy four

so... i need stop saying "i'm really happy right now and feel like i'm in a good spot with things in my life." i'm starting to think that content, peaceful feeling is really just the calm before the storm and the precusor to a breakdown...

but in better news, i got to play outside with alex and jaxon today and it was pretty much the highlight of my entire week. it was beautiful weather and they're beautiful- it's impossible to decide if they are most beautiful on the inside or the outside because they are entirely amazing! their family's been the greatest blessing in my life and i am so grateful for them! i heart the fox den!!! :)

ps... feast your eyes on this pic of jason fox rocking out! just kidding, it's not, but i totally think it looks like him! hahahahahahahahaha

one hundred seventy three

this year's catchphrase is "summer: 08 can't wait." i agree, especially when i look at the gargantuan amount of reading i need to do in the next 11 weeks! see the above textbooks? yeah, meet my life... classes started yesterday and i am always so anxious for the first week! it's like it's my first day on campus or something, but it's clearly not! i'm like a little kid who's scared to go into classes by themself and not know where to sit or what the professor will be like or if i'll make friends or not. how silly is that?! i think the most frustrating part is knowing that there's no legit reason to be so anxious, but not being able to stop myself from feeling that way! lame. whatevvs... i know i can do it! i just need to remind myself that it's okay to be intimidated but that i am fully capable of doing well in these courses! and i'm going to rock them! :)

one hundred seventy two

happy mother's day to all of my favorite moms!

dear sherla,
you won't like the stuff dad picked out but don't return it because it'll hurt the kid's feelings okay? even though we almost never get along, you're still my momma and i love you with all of my heart! can we still go to lunch even though we disagree on the main moral points of life? i'm sorry you're sick today, but i am going to buy your present when dad gets home from church and gives me his visa. you'll love it. just wait!

alisa rae,
your card seriously made me cry! don't say those words to me!!! hahaha thanks for being such a great friend to me and allowing me to be a part of your family. i have learned SO much about the kind of mother i want to be through watching you and your boys. no amount of ice cream in the world is worth the memories we've amassed together!

britta, brie, and kate,
as cliche as it sounds, your positive example and pure drive for life today is the best gift you could ever give to your children and your experiences aren't anything to ever be ashamed of. they only give you more to draw from when helping your children through the struggles they face in life. i am so proud of you and am in awe of such dedication to another person. let's be honest, i'm a little selfish at this point in my life but hopefully i can be as selfless with my children one day as you are with yours.

lesley, janae, sarah, and molly (even though she doesn't have a blog),
thanks for being such wonderful examples of how a fabulous group of women can love, play, and work together with families in tow and have such strong friendships to show for it. thank you for being so caring and supportive of me through all the years! i treasure our friendships more than you know. and could you all have possibly had any cuter kids?! geez!

cb,
hannah is already the bomb.com and will be the best little brightoneer EVER! i can only imagine her as a little camper! haha you are so cute with her! thanks for being such a great example to me!

hailey hailey hailey,
go get em tiger! haha you are SUCH a darling mom with berlin and jamison and they are so lucky to have you! you've got to be one of the most rocking moms i know! i will always look back on those YW memories of hanging out, going shopping, and basketball/volleyball with fondness thanks to you! i still can't walk by bebe without thinking of you! i miss you hails! HRS and band practice! haha

anyone i may have missed,
WAY TO BE A MOM! the fact that your child is still alive pretty much means you are a competent parent, so congrats! haha extra congrats if your child is an adorable dog like rockstar!!! yes abby, i'm thinking of you (and shlee and t)!

all the non moms-
let's enjoy it while it lasts!!!
have a fabulo day! :)

one hundred seventy one

i was feeling the need for a sassy little change and nikki was thrilled. the result? 4.5 inches shorter (as she chopped i couldn't help but cringe) and some fun new bangs. i dig 'em! i don't think i've had bangs since junior year of high school so i'll need to get used to them in the next few days, but overall, i'm a fan! as usual, i feel compelled to check them out from every possible angle and style, hence the mirror shot! haha anyway, i just figured i'd share my latest hair fetish... alisa thinks it makes me look way chinese, but the guy at the field house this morning still guessed that i was hawaiian(even though i'm not), so hopefully my look hasn't changed too much...? either way, whatevvvs!

ciao!

one hundred seventy

okay, so I'm gonna say it.

i'm not afraid to say it.

the clocks on my wall keep ticking

with the moments that I keep missing

okay, so I must confess that

i've settled for less under the guise that "i'm fine,"

but i'm done taking my life just one day at a time.

life's too short and quickly passing by-

so i'm gonna make the most of what is mine.

i've got so much to discover:

a hand I could lend another,

a word that could bring some healing-

is there any better feeling?

hold up,

i wanna see the beauty-

pause now,

so i can let it move me.

i wanna be simply here in the now

cuz i'm done missing out!

with eyes open wide,
i'm taking it in.
making the time mean all that it can.
i don't need a sign-
i just need to begin.
so with every second of every minute
i'm livin' in it - and.that's.how.i.say.it.

one hundred sixty nine

it is a commendable trait to be certain-

some choose to see the best in others.

i guess i'm not one of them.

i'd.much.prefer.the.pure.raw.truth