[the latest]
-so i volunteer for a hospice and those people are freaking hilarious! one man was telling me about how he invented the bar code system and calculated missle acuracy for the military during the cold war, i'm not sure if he was telling the truth, but am secretly hoping he was! how cool would that be?! another lady responded to my question of "how are you doing today?" with the statement "oh you know, just fat and sassy!" and then there's the lady that said "thanks for visiting, Yolana. i'll be sure to remember your name the next time you come by." thanks junebug, but i'm not counting on it. another woman told me 5 times in 5 minutes that my earrings were hot and then after getting up to open her blinds i sat back down in the chair next to bed and she looks at me and says "girl, you look good!" what?! haha its definitely an experience when there are 90 year olds bursting into opera singing and old men accusing you of only being there to sell them something. good times at caresource, tell you what. i used to laugh at the careless remarks techs would make at cfc (gag me with a spoon/turning on the carpenters on the overhead!), but then i was wearing my hair back under a hat on the day my name badge was made and what comes out of my mouth upon seeing my picture? "this picture sucks, i look like a cancer patient." whoops!
-i have been laptop-less for the past week due to it's crash after being infected with a trojan. silly me always thought trojan's prevented infection and virus, not caused them! regardless, it's putting a major damper in my routine, especially since it's midterms. but on the up side, i got a lot more studying done this weekend since i wasn't checking my mail every nano second! anyway, i miss it terribly and hope i get it back soon.
-oh this is huge, yesterday was my last session with nicole, can you believe it?! it feels really weird. it feels like a lot of things. coming up on 3 years doing therapy together and i'm not gonna lie, im a tiny bit sad! it was really cool to think about how far i've come since that dreadful year of 2005. it was strange to hear her tell me that she hadn't really done therapy with me for a while because i really didn't need it, but that she was just a touching stone for me to confident that i had a secure base as i pushed myself being back in school and such. she said that even if i needed therapy at this point, that i wouldn't listen to her because i've overcome the need to have her approval. that was pretty much the coolest part. there was so long that i loved being her patient for the sheer fact that everyone wished they were and so that made me feel special. but it got to a point that i just didn't care anymore and there was a time that i worried i would never get there. it's been a crazy journey that i'm glad to have gone through. i had no idea i could have learned so much, and yet i can only imagine what else is in store for the future. needless to say, im stoked.
-i'm still going crazy with escuela, but am totally holding it together, and even making friends! like normal, non ed friends! crazy! i think i'd been so tied into the identity that i was scared of normal normal people not wanting to be friends with me, but guess what, we're ALL crazy in our own way and i'm freaking awesome- who wouldn't want to be friends with me?! wow that sounds conceited. all i'm saying is that everyone brings baggage of some sort and that's kind of what normal is all about! hooray for the crazys! :)
-i'm applying to nursing school in cali because regardless of the utah connection, sunshine and beaches run in my veins and i need to be in a fashion mecca like socal. i heart fashion island and corona del mar. i'm pretty excited for a change in scenery, even though it won't be for at least another 6 months or so...
-rascal flatts were back in town and the show was a blast! jen, caitlin, anna, ali, and morgan came with me and it was fabulo! i can't believe anna moved back from nashville and all of its glorious country music-ness. we will have to go there on vacay one summer and she can show me her favorite clubs.
-the countdown is on for my 21st bday and i'm in the process of making a list of 21 crazy things i wouldn't usually do, that i WILL do throughout the year in celebration of this major milestone. any suggestions? i'm game!
-jaxon turned 2 this weekend and alisa had a spiderman party. we sang to him like 50 times because he kept saying "again! ready?!" and conducting us as he sang and clapped along to himself! it was hilarious and we probably went through an entire package of candles by having to continuously relight them. by the end of it all logan said, " what are you jax, 21 by now?!" what a cool kid!
-i am on a life cap trend. is it okay to say that on here? whatevs, its my blog. read or don't read, but i feel good about it! they should be going public soon. way coolio.
-lastly, i sincerely hope to find myself soaking up some socal sunshine this time next week. cross your fingers because i'm needing a tan fix like a needle needs a vein- or maybe something a little less chronically addicting (but just as pleasure inducing)! i know thou shalt not worship false idols, but in this case, welcome to sun worshipping 101!
there's the update on me being all MIA...
life is good and i love you all!
[ciao bella.]
6 comments:
holy shit, lana, it's awesome to hear how excited you are about things! it's it awesome to make friends that have nothing to do with your past? not that it's not completely necessary to keep us around, but it's cool to be "normal" and yes, everyone is crazy. and it's freaking amazing to find that out for myself. ha ha. people all say it, but it's not true till you experience it.
on another note, you are completely welcome out here any time next week. if you tell me before friday, i can get as much time off as you want :D i might have a little school in the mornings, but i'm out by 2 or 230 ish mondays through thursday and the rest is yours! please come out here. it would help remind me that i'm normalish sorta! ha ha. and i'm whiter than my spoodle! then we could even look at schools for you. i'll drive you to all of them. :D
ps what's a life cap trend?
You sound great and I'm so excited/jealous that you will be heading to CA. I miss it too, especially when its cold and gray here in UT. I can't believe its been 3 years since you and I first met at CFC. I'm so proud of what you've accomplished and how far you've come. I always saw the potential there. You are such a strong, fun amazing person. Good luck with midterms and applying for nursing school! Keep us all posted about your CA adventures. :)
WOW! Such an abundance of awesome news, I feel good just reading it. Socal?! Where? San Diego, by chance? Want to get together? ALso, when did you start CFC? I discharged Sept 15, 2005 - were we there together? And congrats on needing no more therapy! That's HUGE! Huge huge huge. But I can understand why you'd miss Nicole. She's pretty much amazing.
i went in at the very end of august. i think i remember seeing your letter of hope lying around, but i don't remember actually meeting you... maybe i did but was so out of it that i don't remember? i'm sorry if that's the case! you know how the first few weeks are- all i remember is suddenly getting refed and how much it sucked!
Before I forget: what is Life Cap?
I'm happy you seem so happy. It's good to see you taking charge of your life and taking risks like moving away and "quitting" Nicole. I hope we talk soon so we can catch up. Miss you.
all I have to say is I ♥ you and Rascal Flatts!!!
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