one hundred five

i've decided that i need a break.
any one have some extras they'd like to pass my way?
no, but for real!

here's a little update:
-today i cut my hair.
-i met with alice and had the first productive session in who knows how long.
-i've been told to reconsider going back to nicole and am so confused.
-apparently seeing melissa today went great...
-she told me to go get a massage.
-but by the end of the theraputic day i've never felt more detached, apathetic, or impassive in my life.
-all that i know is that i'm sick of it all.

to be perfectly honest here-
honestly, i'm just a bit worn out.
honestly, i don't have a single drug in my system.
honestly, i haven't been drinking.
(although honestly, a bit of water from time to time would probably help)
honestly, i'm not being too reckless, too impulsive, or too unmeditative.
honestly, i'm not suicidal.
because honestly,
i'm not one to give up.

but i am going to take a break. really, i'm just going to take some space. i'm totally still around so don't worry, but i'm done with the whole group thing for a while. no more IOP, no more myspace, facebook, cfc alumni board, any of it. i'll still post on here so if you really want to know what's going on feel free to stop by. otherwise, here's your heads up. don't feel neglected, or abandoned, or forgotten, and for goodness' sake, PLEASE don't feel offended by my lack of communication. don't worry your pretty little head. don't wonder where i am. i'm sure at some point i'll resurface, and hopefully things will be better!

ciao bellas...