one hundred thirty two

there is a fabulous distraction to anxious self consciousness.
find a way to serve someone else.
today it was attempted-
but ended in passing out, feeling embarassed,
and being a good pint and a half lighter
than before i sat down in that sterile plastic covered chair.
here's the facts:
only 3% of the eligible US population donates blood,
and yet every 2 seconds someone in america needs blood.
of that 3%, less than 30% of initial blood donors will ever give blood again.
you can donate up to 6 times a year and
potentially, one blood donation could save up to 3 lives.
so it was pure donation, with no monetary compensation
(and maybe a part of me just wanted to defy the "less than 30%" statistic),
but i'm basically still a freaking hero.
so then i wonder,
why did i still walk out feeling just as worthless and crummy as before in walked in?
don't tell me it's because today's valentine's day-
i'm really okay with it because pink is the color of the day!
its just been a week from hell.
so i'm still a bit nauseated, sluggish, and inevitably bruised.
but on the up side,
my jeans are feeling looser (yes i know its all in my head but i'm okay with that),
i actually had high enough iron levels to be a donor today,
(alice is convinced my iron levels only read high enough on some days because i'm dehydrated. not true alice covey cruzmark, not true.),
and finally,
it was the easiest 2 pounds i've ever lost
and there's nothing ED'ed about it.
bom chicka wah wah.