one hundred fifty seven

i'm done with the games

so i'll be straight up:

sometimes i simply crave addiction.

is it simple human tendency

or a twisted personal draw

toward self destruction?

i have everything going for me

so i resist by keeping dull-

sharp's a little too familiar.

entertaining a notion,

i question,

i caved,

i start.

i stopped.

a switch flip.

being in a haze and

suddenly getting a jolt.

buzz. zing.

the ultimate oxymoron

because its an insane rush of calmness.

absolutely sober but

100% addicting.

why is it so enticing to me?

oscar wilde said it best,

"i can resist everything but temptation."

you never know when i'll change my mind.